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Marriage are more challenging that most couples imagine. Many couples get married, full of love, but don’t really grasp the potentially bumpy road ahead. Unfortunately these bumpy roads cause a lot of couples to give up and separate. While divorce rates are declining, about one-third of marriages will end in divorce.
To prevent divorce, a lot of couples seek outside help. Marriage counseling has saved countless marriages and allows couples to open up about grievances that may never have been brought up before. With that said, there are actually different types of marriage counseling services that couples can choose from. There is traditional, therapist-led marriage counseling and then there is Christian marriage counseling. Both are well respected services and have beneficial merits.
The question remains, should couples of Christian faith seek marriage counseling from non-Christians? The short, simple answer is yes they should, although they shouldn’t discount Christian counselors either.
Traditional Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling goes by many names. It can be called relationship counseling, family therapy, and couples therapy. While there will be different approaches based on the level of relationship, all of these counseling services deal with improving the relationship between close individuals.
Traditional counseling involves a counselor or therapist and the parties that need the counseling. The counselor is typically licensed to practice relationship therapy. Relationships often go through periods of strain and depending on the lines of communication between the parties involved, the outcome can either be positive or negative. Couples that have open and clear lines of communication will often be the couples that do not attend counseling. Couples that have trouble communicating can often benefit from counseling.
Two of the methods often used in traditional counseling focus on processes of communication. Active listening is one of those methods and was developed by Carl Rogers and Virginia Satir. More recently, Warren Farrell introduced a method called Cinematic Immersion as a means for couples therapy.
Christian Marriage Counseling
Christian marriage counseling is actually very similar to traditional counseling. Typically the counselors for a Christian counseling service are called pastoral counselors. They provide the means for communication to take place in a safe environment. These pastoral counselors are also usually certified.
The main difference between traditional marital counseling and Christian marital counseling is the Biblical referencing and healing of the spirit that is introduced during Christian marital counseling. The pastoral counselors will not only try to strengthen a couple’s relationship, but also their relationship with God. Anecdotal references to the Bible will be used and faith will be a focal point within the healing process.
When it comes down to choosing between a traditional marital counselor or a Christian marital counselor, it will really depend on your preference as a Christian. Traditional counselors will obviously take a more traditional approach to providing help for your marriage. Christian counselors will use faith-based healing methods to improve your marriage.
As a Christian you may feel more comfortable with a pastoral counselor. You probably already discuss intimate issues with your pastor, so this transition of opening up to a stranger may not be as difficult. Having this easy transition might make the overall prospect of counseling easier on you and your spouse, especially if you both actively practice the Christian faith. It will essentially be an extension of your practice with the added benefit of communication and relationship counseling.
On the other hand, just because you are a Christian does not mean that counseling from a non-Christian won’t work. In fact, there is a good chance that a form of traditional counseling will still work for you. The counselors are licensed professionals who understand all types of relationships. They deal with couples of many different faiths and are trained to understand that this creates different dynamics in a relationship.
In the end, the choice rests on your shoulders. Christians should seek marriage counseling from non-Christians if they want or they can seek Christian counseling if they want. Regardless of the choice, if your relationship is strained, most forms of couples counseling could be beneficial for your relationship. Marriage is a beautiful pairing of two beings, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. Working towards your marriage and maintaining open lines of honest communication are foundational keys to a happy, successful marriage.
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